


Kiss it All Better

by So_Ginelle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Asahi and Noya were going to get married, Based on a song, But It Had To Happen, Character Death, Gay, He is we, I really had to do this, I really wish I was better at writing happy things, I'm Sorry, Kiss it better, M/M, Marriage, Song fic, Suga and Daichi are mentioned but not in the fic, The person this is for knows that I had to, Triggers, Violence, gay hate, see how I said were?, song au, trigger - Freeform, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 21:56:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14364525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_Ginelle/pseuds/So_Ginelle
Summary: Asahi and Noya were on their way to go look at and purchase the finishing touches for their wedding, which was happening in six days. They were both beyond excited, until something very serious gets in their way and they find themselves in the middle of a crisis.





	Kiss it All Better

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BurnedSparrow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurnedSparrow/gifts).



> ~WARNING~  
> This fic is EXTREMELY sad. It is beyond triggering. I suggest you go listen to the song Kiss It Better by He Is We before reading this. It's based on that song, so go listen to the song and see if you are ready for the angst.
> 
> I am so sorry for doing this, but I was provoked. I don't even remember how I got provoked, but my darling friend will love me and hate me for this. She knows who she is. I love you, Noya!

It was nearly six in the morning, and there was a man with shoulder-length hair and a goatee who was just lying down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He hadn’t been able to sleep for roughly six days now. Even if he did slip into unconsciousness, he woke back up just about every hour, just crying. He had even awoke screaming a few times and he had to be told to quiet down. This was beyond hell to the tall man, but it wasn’t because of where he was. He deserved to be here. He didn’t have to be here, but he made a choice. That choice would affect him for the rest of his life and it would definitely be something that haunted him forever.

“Not asleep Asahi? Let’s get you up early then.” There was a man standing outside, looking in on him and he had a bit of a smile on his face.

Asahi sighed and he sat up on his bed, rubbing his eyes and pushing the hair out of his face. “Sure. I want to help you guys out anyway, saying your mornings are usually hectic. Is it easier to get us up a few at a time?” Asahi asked as he slowly stood up and scratched at his arm, which he had been picking at for a few days now.

The man nodded and laughed a bit. “Yeah, generally it’s hectic. Getting you guys up a few at a time does help us. I knew I liked you. Come on, let’s get you some breakfast,” he said. He used a key and his fingerprint on a special computerized padto unlock Asahi’s cell.

Asahi yawned and he shook his head. “I’m not hungry, but I’ll try to eat a little today.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes and Asahi rubbed his face. “So tell me again… why are you here?”

There was a tension and Asahi slowed down his pace. “Well… I uh… I shot a man…” Asahi murmured his response and he looked down at his clothed feet and orange jumpsuit. “The anger came over me for what he did and I just… I shot him.”

The prison guard hummed and he looked at Asahi. “Did he do something that upset you?” the man asked. Asahi knew the prison guards weren’t supposed to get friendly or close to any of the prisoners, but he also knew that the guy was curious. So, Asahi wanted to satisfy his curiosity.

Asahi nodded and he thought back to that night. All he could do was think about that night. All he could do was see Noya, the love of his life, and Asahi was kicking himself for the way things happened.

“Yeah, he did something that enraged me. I’m not the violent type. I’d rather try to talk things out usually. My lawyer tried to cut me a deal where I didn’t have to come to prison, but I guess killing a man isn’t forgivable… It shouldn’t be, either…” Asahi shuttered a bit and he had to stop. His tears were clouding up his eyes now. Asahi had to blink the tears away just so he could see ahead of him to continue walking.

“Can I ask what he did to upset you enough to get him shot? Not that shooting someone is right for about any reason, but I still want to know what made you shoot the man…”

That night would haunt him for the rest of his life. Asahi would never be happy or even the same again and he didn’t have a reason to be. He deserved to rot in prison. He knew killing that man wouldn’t bring Noya back, but he would do anything to be with Noya again.

His mind wandered back to that night and he closed his eyes as he continued to walk. The guard stayed quiet, but Asahi’s mind was racing.

They were supposed to be out shopping. It was such an exciting night, because they were out shopping for the finishing touches of their wedding…

_“Noya, do we really need-”_

_“Asahi, a man only gets married once. At least, if he’s happy. I am more than happy and I say we need all of it. I don’t want to miss out on anything,” Noya said with a beaming grin. He leaned in and kissed Asahi’s cheek, getting a flustered laugh and smile out of the larger man._

_They were headed to a shop to pick out their reception hall dining set. The tables and chairs would all be provided, but they were there to pick out the plates and the decorations for the reception. “I don’t want to miss out on anything either. Anything you want, we will get,” Asahi said and Noya laughed softly, leaning his head against Asahi’s arm._

_It was around seven at night and the two of them had already had dinner. They had actually had dinner rather early and they ate at a fancy kitchen, because they were testing out the meal for the reception. They had decided on something a little less traditional, as they knew their friends wouldn’t care for the traditional wedding meal anyway. Noya also wanted a filling meal, not a little tiny meal that would leave him hungry before the honeymoon._

_“I want tablecloths and a runner for all of the tables. If we’re going to do this, we might as well do it all,” Asahi said as he reached for Noya’s hand. Noya had slid his fingers between Asahi’s and he looked up at the window to watch where the driver was taking them._

_The car stopped and Asahi smiled. Noya opened the door and jumped out of the car. He wasn’t surprised that Noya had jumped out like that, saying he was the more excited one of the pair. “Can you believe we only have a week left? Six days now, actually!” Noya said loudly. Asahi paid the driver and got out of the vehicle before joining Noya’s side, holding him close. Noya slid into Asahi’s embrace and wrapped his arms tightly around Asahi._

_Asahi hummed as he leaned down to kiss Noya’s head, but Noya had other plans apparently for Asahi’s mouth. He tilted his head up and met Asahi’s lips, kissing Asahi for a few seconds before pulling away. There was a bit of a dazed look on Asahi’s face, but he replaced the look with a smile and he hummed._

_“I still can’t believe this is actually happening. I was still shocked when you proposed,” Asahi said with a smile on his face and he pulled his arms away slowly, letting a hand travel down to hold onto Noya’s hand once more. It just felt right. He always wanted to hold Noya’s hand. “I mean, I was always told that I had to be the one to propose. Suga told me so, even though he still hasn’t proposed to Daichi,” Asahi said and Noya laughed._

_“Daichi would kill Suga if he proposed anyway. Suga’s not going to propose, just watch.” Noya squeezed Asahi’s hand and they started off towards the wedding shop they were going to._

_Asahi would have to watch and he would gently rub it in Suga’s face that he didn’t propose either. “You know, even though my birthday is a day after Daichi’s and Suga’s is in the summer, I still forget sometimes that he’s six months older than us,” Asahi said as he started to walk down the street._

_When the smaller boy pointed at a shop window, he turned his head up to Asahi and smiled. “We need to get those for my young cousins. And yeah, I know what you mean. It doesn’t help that Daichi was our captain the last year of school for you guys either. It just made him seem older.”_

_The city was buzzing and Asahi looked around at the crowded streets. Noya adjusted his bag and Asahi looked down to him. “I still don’t know why you brought that. We have pictures of everything, you know,” he said and Noya pushed at him, getting Asahi to stumble a little and the taller man laughed awkwardly. “We do though!” Noya pulled him back up and scoffed gently._

_“I just want it to match, okay! Sometimes pictures don’t capture the right color if the lighting is off. It has to be per-” Asahi cut Noya off and he shook his head._

_“It will be perfect. I’m marrying you. Even if everything goes wrong, it will still be perfect.” Noya stopped for a moment and he rubbed at his eyes, smiling so widely up to Asahi at that moment. “What? It will be!”_

_Noya let out a soft laugh and he licked his lips. “I remember when you got embarrassed to say shit like that. You used to get that little pink bridge over your nose and cheekbones,” Noya said as he winked to Asahi. “But now you’re saying it without even batting an eyelash. I love you so much, Asahi. More than anything,” Noya said._

_Asahi smiled as he closed his eyes, shaking his head. “I love you more than anything too, Noya. You’re my entire world. Marry me again after we get married?” Asahi asked as he opened his eyes._

_There was a new look on Noya’s face and it was a look that he only saw two or three times. The look wasn’t pleasant at all. It was the look he got when he was fearful of what happened to Daichi during the one volleyball match when he had to go to the nurse’s station. It was the same look he got when Asahi was sick and in the hospital for a week._

_Asahi looked to where Noya’s eyes were angled towards and he adjusted his gaze to look in the same area. What he saw there was not something to be calm and collected about. Noya had the right look. His look had to be one of fear Asahi was guessing, because Asahi’s look turned into one of fear too._

_The thing Noya had been looking at was a man holding a pistol and pointing it right at them. He seemed to be a little shaky, which told Asahi that the man hadn’t really intended on shooting them. He just seemed to be desperate.“Give me whatever you have in the bag. All of it!” the man shouted, getting Asahi to flinch. This was not reassuring at all and Asahi wasn’t sure what they were going to do now._

_Noya took a slow and deep breath before he swallowed. “M-my wallet is in my pocket. Are you sure you don’t want what’s in there instead...?” Noya asked softly as he reached his hand down to his side, going for his pocket instead. There were things in that bag that Asahi didn’t want to lose as well, but there was a gun pointed at them and he would rather lose those things than get shot. He just didn’t want Noya to get hurt._

_The man scowled and took a step closer, jamming the gun closer to Noya’s chest. “I said give me what’s in the bag, or you’re going to regret it!” Noya sighed as he slowly adjusted his hand to go for the bag and he opened the bag and he looked down into it, slowly pulling the contents out. “Give it all over! Now!”_

_“S-sir, I’m sure he’s going as fast as he can… Aren’t you, babe?” Asahi asked in a shaky voice and Noya nodded. He pulled out the fabric they were going to use for the chair covers and the light fixtures. His hand offered those things over to the man and the man grabbed it and pulled it out of Noya’s hand. He had also pulled out picture frames one by one and he looked down to them. He had to take his hand out of Asahi’s for that._

_“C-can I at least take the pictures out?” Noya asked with tears in his eyes and he looked up to the man with the gun. The man was getting impatient and Asahi bit his lip. He wondered why no one on the streets had noticed yet. He wondered why they still had a gun pointed at them. “The frames can be all yours, but I don’t have some of these pictures saved anywhere. Most of these are family pictures, like ones of my cousins and my best friends…”_

_The man groaned. He seemed to be contemplating for a moment. “Fine, but hurry! I don’t have all night.” Noya went to work and handed Asahi the rest of the frames so he could work on taking the picture out of the one he had in his hands. They had found the most adorable frames in the world, but they were a little difficult to take apart and they made a terrible sound when they were opened. It was a cross between a bang and a creaking noise._

_Asahi had a very bad feeling about this. “I love you, Asahi…” Noya looked up for a moment before he went back to trying to get the frame open._

_Noya had opened the first one and it made the terrible sound. Asahi wished to God that they had gone with the cheaper frames at that moment, the ones that were easier to open. When the sound happened, Asahi had tensed up. At that same moment, there was another sound. It was loud and piercing, and Asahi flinched, but he also gasped. The thing was, he could have sworn he heard a gun being shot. But the only thing that hurt happened to be Asahi’s ears. If that was the case, then where did the bullets go?_

_Asahi looked down to Noya and saw his hands were no longer holding the frame. The frame had clattered onto the sidewalk and he was holding onto his stomach. The man holding the gun had dropped the gun, tore Noya’s bag off of his arm and he ran off, leaving the two of them to the next miserable part of their life._

_“Noya… Baby, no…” Asahi whispered and Noya had collapsed into his arms. The frames that Asahi had been holding were on the ground now also. Asahi was quick to hold onto him and he had slowly settled onto the ground, putting his hands over Noya’s hand. This couldn’t be real. This really couldn’t be happeningl. It had to be fake, right? Asahi was just having a nightmare?_

_Noya took a shaky breath. “It hurts... Asahi, it h-hurts… It burns…” Noya said, looking up to his taller, buffer fiancé. “Make it stop… A-Asahi…” Noya had tears in his eyes and he was shaking a bit._

_“You’ll be okay… You’ll be fine, a-and we’re still getting married on Saturday and we will have the time of our lives then…” Asahi was trying his best to be optimistic, because it was all he had right now. All he could do was hope and pray._

_The streets had suddenly cleared out and there was no one around. What had happened? There weren’t even cars driving for Asahi to try to wave down. “I have to make a call, baby. The hospital… It will just… Yuu?”_

_Noya had shaken his head and he grasped onto Asahi’s hands. Asahi knew Noya could grip tightly, but the strength seemed to be leaving him. Asahi had started to tear up again and he leaned down to press a kiss to Noya’s face. “I-I’m not going to make it… E-even if you call someone, I’m going to suffer and th-then I will likely die, i-if they make it in time… So stay with me? D-don’t call and K-keep me warm? I’m freezing now…” Asahi had to hide the flinch that happened after Noya had said the word ‘die’ and he pushed away the urge to pass out._

_Asahi lifted his head a little to look down and see Noya’s eyes that were hardly opened. “I’ll keep you warm, angel. I’ll keep you warm and I won’t leave your side for a second, okay?” Asahi said. He meant what he had said and Noya sniffled a little before he smiled._

_“You’re the love of my life… We we-were going to get married, you kn-know that? H-how crazy is th-that?” Noya’s voice was shakier than it had ever been and Asahi was falling apart at the seams. “I’ve l-loved you for so l-long… Asahi Azumane…” The strength of Noya’s voice was slipping away and Asahi had to keep tightening his grip on Noya’s hands so they wouldn’t slip away._

_Noya was getting very cold and Asahi had to lie to himself by saying that it was a nightmare. He wanted to wake up. “I love you too, Noya… I-I love you m-more than anything…”_

_There was a bit of a strangled laugh that left Noya’s mouth and he met Asahi’s eyes. Noya’s eyes were filled with love and longing. “Kiss me…? I want my last moments t-to be perfect… I’m not ready to l-leave you yet, Asahi…”_

_Here was the thing. Asahi was struggling with all of this right now and kissing Noya was probably the last thing on his mind. But he wanted to give Noya everything and he wanted to help him. Asahi bent down his neck and he pressed a kiss to Noya’s lips, tasting and feeling them for the last time. It was only for a few seconds. He didn’t want to pull away, but he didn’t want to have Noya waste more breath than necessary. Asahi knew there was no point in trying to preserve this, but he wanted to cling onto Noya for as long as he could. Everything was going to be okay, wasn’t it?_

_When Asahi pulled back, he thought for a second that it was over. He thought that he had killed his lover by kissing him for too long. But Noya gasped for breath and he started to cough. There was blood coming out of the corners of his lips now and Asahi wished there was something he could do about it. Asahi just wished he could stop it. “Promise me… promise me you w-will be okay?” Noya asked and he seemed to be holding on by the thread of a thread now._

_Asahi wished he could have told Noya that he would be okay, but there was no telling that he would be. Nothing felt okay at the moment and Asahi didn’t want to lose this moment. “I will try to be… I’ll find a way…” Asahi whispered and he felt tears cascading down his cheeks. One of them landed on Noya’s cheek and Asahi wanted to wipe it away, but he didn’t want to pull his hands away from Noya’s._

_“Th-that’s all I can a-ask… Thank you. I l-love you… Oh, a-and don’t blame yourself. Y-you didn’t know this guy would sh-shoot me…” His voice seemed so much weaker at the moment and Asahi wanted to wake up. He wanted this to stop and he wanted to be done with dreaming forever after this. “I love you, Ah…” Noya’s voice stopped and Asahi had been looking at his lips to see if he was just going for a breath. He had to finish that sentence. He had to finish saying his name._

_The only thing was, Noya wasn’t going to finish that sentence. Noya wasn’t going to say Asahi’s name ever again. The life behind Noya’s eyes had disappeared in that moment. There was nothing left. “N-Noya…?” Asahi asked and he gently shook the smaller male, but he didn’t get a reaction. There wasn’t a sound and Noya’s body didn’t tense or move to Asahi shaking him. “N-no… You’re okay, you’re okay…” he said quietly. Asahi stopped shaking Noya after a few moments._

_But things were not okay. There were never going to be okay again, and Asahi realized that very quickly. Slowly, but surely, Asahi pulled his hands away and he reached up to wipe the tears off of Noya’s cheek, as well as the ones Asahi had put there. He then realized that he was smearing Noya’s blood on his cheek and Asahi gasped, letting out a yelp and a sob that ripped through and shook him down to his core._

_Asahi kept his eyes down on Noya and he reached a hand up to close his eyes, so he pretend and hold the illusion that this wasn’t real. He wished that Noya was only asleep. But that wasn’t the reality of the situation. Noya wasn’t sleeping. Noya was gone._

_Asahi sat there, just crying out for Noya and praying that things would change, but he knew it wouldn’t change. He looked around slowly and he finally stood up. Asahi then reached down to pull Noya up so he could carry him to someone that could help him, but then he noticed a bit of a gleam off of something metallic on the ground. Asahi stopped reaching for Noya and he looked towards the gleam and he tilted his head in thought when he saw the object._

_There were very dangerous thoughts plaguing Asahi’s mind at the moment, but he had to do this. The object on the ground was the criminal’s gun. Asahi vaguely remembered that the man had dropped the gun, but he had pushed the thought out of his mind until now. He knew that the man had dropped the gun. He knew the man took Noya’s bag instead, but he hadn’t thought about that while Noya was holding his stomach and bleeding, literally to death._

_Asahi looked down at the pistol and he reached for it. Everything inside him was telling him not to grab that gun and to just call the police. But Asahi couldn’t stop thinking about Noya and how everything had turned out. This was something Asahi couldn’t forgive “I’ll make this okay. I’ll go make this fair,” Asahi said darkly as he picked the gun up and felt the weight of it in his hand. He took the safety off, which he had only known about by watching movies with guns in them, and he stood up. “I love you, Yuu.”_

_Asahi had to think back to which direction the man went, and he started following the direction that the killer ran off in. Asahi put the heavy, metal device in his pocket and he went back to trying to find the man that had murdered the love of his life. He was going to find the man, even if it was the last thing he did. He would find the monster and he would put an end to him._

_Nothing about this situation was good, and nothing about the situation seemed like Asahi. Asahi wasn’t a killer. Asahi had a hard time even thinking negative things about people when they had wronged him. But this man had killed Noya. This man had shot the man he was supposed to marry. There was nothing worse than that, and Asahi wouldn’t feel any kind of peace until he got revenge against this man._

_“I’m going to avenge you, Noya. I don’t care how long it takes, but that man won’t get away with this,” Asahi said as he started to jog in the direction of where he assumed the man had gone. The thing was, Asahi wasn’t completely sure where he had gone after he had started running, but Asahi had to find him. He wouldn’t rest until this murderer was brought to justice._

_Asahi started to run at full speed, the tears steadily falling down his cheeks. He had run two blocks before he had to slow down in order to catch his breath. Usually, that wouldn’t be the case. He could generally run for three miles before he slowed down, but the events of the night changed everything._

_He was walking now and he coughed. It wasn’t smart to be running when he was this upset, but Asahi honestly didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact that Noya was dead and Asahi would never get to see Noya’s smile again. Asahi would never hear that booming laugh again or feel his hugs and get lost in his kisses. “Why, God? Why did you do this to me?” Asahi shouted, throwing his hands into the air and then returning them to the top of his head. Asahi didn’t care that he was getting confused looks by strangers. He also didn’t care that it was starting to rain. What he cared about was finding this monster. He cared that Noya was gone and there was very little he could do about it at this point._

_“Hey man, that’s awesome. You’re really showing it to those queers,” a voice had said. Asahi pulled his hands off his head and he tried to follow the source of the voice. It was soft and it seemed to be coming from around the corner. Asahi knew he was looking for the killer, but he just had a feeling about this. “Where’s your gun though? The boss isn’t going to be happy with you,” the man said and Asahi felt his entire body twitch. He was going numb, but he had locked onto the voice and he had a feeling that the man was talking to someone that Asahi was going to have a conversation with._

_“I dropped it when I was taking this stuff. It’s all expensive and we can sell it, but the boss might not like me for other reasons. I shot one of them on accident. Not that their lives matter, but if they trace the gun back to me…” Asahi tensed up and he started to walk towards the voice._

_The voices seemed to be coming from an alley and it was dark and in quiet area. Asahi could corner the man in and he could get vengeance for this. “That’s not good, man. The weapon has your prints on it, what if it gets traced back to you and you go to jail? Or what if they get you to sell the boss out? So not cool…”_

_Asahi wasn’t going to give the man a chance to sell his boss out. He knew the man deserved to rot in prison, but after hearing the reason that he had approached them in the first place, Asahi wasn’t even going to take it easy on the man. At first, Asahi was only going to aim for the man’s leg or shoulder, but now he was going in for the kill._

_“At least you showed it to the fags that they aren’t welcomed here. I’m sure that the man that got shot will think twice about getting married now. Oh, and the other one will be too scared! He probably won’t go through with the wedding now that he knows it can get him shot. Yeah, you…” The man stopped speaking when he had glanced over the killer’s shoulder and he slowly stepped back. “Is this… is that the man…?”_

_The murderer lifted his head and slowly turned around. “Hey man, I’m sorry for getting your friend shot. I wasn’t going to shoot, I swear. But you guys scared me and whatever that sound was what freaked me out.” Asahi stepped fully into the light and he was shaking. He went into his pocket, reaching for the gun and the man sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t approve of you two getting married, but I’m sure your friend is a good person anyway. Just don’t get married and all of this gets avoided.”_

_Asahi clenched his jaw and he slowly pulled the gun out, pointing the weapon at the murderer. He then cleared his voice and attempted at steadying himself. “We can’t get married now. You killed him,” Asahi growled. The other man slowly backed up and retreated into a building, but Asahi wasn’t too terribly worried about him. The killer slowly put his hands up._

_“I… I killed him? Hey man, I am so sorry. I never meant to kill anyone. I’ve always thought your relationships were wrong, but I didn’t want to kill you guys over it. I just thought you had to learn what was right. Death never seemed like the answer though.” The man was rambling, but Asahi wasn’t listening. He didn’t want to hear this stranger’s thoughts and feelings about how his relationship had been wrong. He didn’t want to know that his fiancé’s killer didn’t want him dead. He was still guilty, even if he didn’t mean to do it._

_“Doesn’t matter. You killed him. He’s gone,” Asahi muttered out as he stepped closer, pointing the gun towards the man’s chest and getting the man to step back._

_The man seemed to be shaking harder now and Asahi was laughing internally. He was scared? Good, he really should be scared. Asahi was scared of himself, but that really didn’t mean much to Asahi at the moment. What he really wanted was vengeance. He wanted to bring Noya back and he really wanted to go back to the moment before they crossed paths with this guy. “Hey… We can talk about this. I’ll get you hooked up, yeah? My boss will pay you, get you whatever you want.”_

_The man stepped back so far that his back was to the wall of the building behind him. Asahi shook his head. “I don’t want money or things. I want him back. I don’t care how much you didn’t like us being in love, but I want him back!” Asahi was shouting now and he had been standing close enough to the man that was only six inches from the gun. “If you can’t do that, then I think I’ll have to take something else from you.”_

_Asahi wasn’t the violent type and he never had been, but now that Noya was gone, he had nothing else to live for and he was going to play this emotion out to the end. He really had nothing else better to do with his life now, even though he did promise Noya that he would be okay._

_“Hey… man, listen, you can have all of this stuff back. Please just… don’t hurt me? My girl is pregnant and I want to be around to see my kid,” he said in a soft voice. The man was sweating and wide-eyed now, but Asahi didn’t care. Usually Asahi would care, but the man had changed. He didn’t care that this man was about to be a father and he really didn’t care to have that stuff back now. Sure, he would want to see the pictures again and he would want to smell the stuff to see if it smelled like Noya. But none of this was going to bring Noya back now and he was going to suffer for the rest of his life._

_Asahi was going to take his revenge one way or another and he made sure the safety was off the gun as he slid his index finger to the trigger. “His name was Noya, you know. Nishinoya Yuu. He played volleyball with me in school and he was really good. He was smart and he was caring… And he was brave! You killed such a strong man!” Asahi’s hand was shaking and he tried to steady himself, but honestly, there was no steadying himself now. He wouldn’t calm down until someone or something made him calm down._

_“I knew nothing about him. I really wish I did because he sounds great… I’m sorry that I got scared enough to shoot him. I’m also exhausted, so that might be part of the reason I shot him…” The man really seemed to want to stop Asahi from pulling the trigger, and Asahi would have never pulled the trigger if the night had been different. But unfortunately, the night had been such an awful one and it was pushing Asahi into doing things he never would have done. Asahi didn’t care about the excuses the man had been making_

_“I loved him. I still love him. But what do you care? You and your friends don’t care about us anyway. And you know what? You’re not going to get to see the birth of your child now because I don’t particularly feel like giving homophobic monsters a chance.” Asahi watched the man contemplate for a moment at Asahi’s words. He shook his head in fear before he turned on his heel and tried to run for the door._

_The thing was, Asahi wasn’t going to let that happen. He wasn’t going to let the man get away and run and hide, because Noya didn’t get that chance. He turned with the man and he kept the gun pointed right in his back before he pulled the trigger. The gun fired off and the kickback was strong, but it did exactly what Asahi had wanted. Asahi then pulled the trigger again, and again. He pulled it until the ammo was depleted and Asahi couldn’t shoot the man anymore. He was bleeding on the concrete and he wasn’t yelling or making any noise. He wasn’t twitching either._

_He was dead. Asahi had just killed a man._

_Asahi had dropped the gun and he licked his lips, tilting his head as he checked the man over. He wanted to be sure that he had done the job before leaving. Asahi kicked the man gently and made sure not to get blood on his shoes. Then, after Asahi had made sure the man wasn’t breathing anymore, he went to grab the bag and he looked it over to make sure that the other man’s blood wasn’t on it before going to leave the ally. When he looked up to the street though, he saw two people watching him and one of them had been on the phone. Asahi didn’t know what they were doing, but he started to walk towards them. They stepped back and they put their hands up. “Oh, oh! I’m not going to hurt you, I just had to get even with that guy,” Asahi said as he put his hands up in defense._

_The people that had been watching him clearly didn’t care for his explanation. The girl was murmuring to someone on the phone and Asahi blinked a bit, but he went to try to walk around them. “S-sir, we can’t let you leave. You killed a man,” the one girl had said who was on the phone, rubbing her eyes and Asahi gave her a puzzling look. He had to leave so he could go see if the authorities had found Noya and so he could contact Noya’s parents. He had to get the news around about Noya and he had to start to get on with his life. He wouldn’t be able to do these things if he was being stopped._

_“I did shoot a man, but he killed someone special to me first,” Asahi said and the other girl closed her eyes. Asahi wanted them to understand and he didn’t want to have to explain this to them. It looked like he would have to though and he wasn’t sure he would be able to handle this. “See, that man? He shot the love of my life about an hour ago and my fiancé is dead now because of that man. I just had to get vengeance for my man, because he isn’t around to do it himself anymore,” Asahi had said and one of the girls that had been standing there had shook her head._

_“Two wrongs don’t make a right, dude. He shot someone you loved, but did he really have to die over it? You should have let the police decide that,” the man said. Apparently there were three people there. One of them was a man that Asahi didn’t see at first and Asahi groaned, putting his hand over his face._

_He really wanted to go back home. He really wanted to get some sleep. Honestly, Asahi really just wanted this whole day to be over with and he wanted it to be a nightmare. He wanted to wake up next to Noya and he wanted to tell him all about the bad dream he had been having so Noya could tell him that everything would be okay. “Listen, you don’t understand. We were supposed to get married this Saturday and that guy didn’t like that we were gay! He didn’t like that we had found love even though we are both men! So he shot Noya and…”_

_Asahi took a shuttering breath in and he was shaking down to his core now. “N-now he’s never coming back… Noya…” Asahi was losing strength and he dropped the bag, his knees giving way and he fell onto the sidewalk. He was in so much emotional pain. Asahi wasn’t sure how much of this he could really take. Maybe he should have just ended it all. Maybe he should have just pointed the gun somewhere that mattered and somewhere that would take Asahi to Noya so he could actually be with him for the rest of eternity._

_It took a few minutes, but Asahi started to hear sirens and he didn’t have any fight left in him. When the cops came and when they assessed the situation, the tall man had to have the police take him away. They had to actually pick him up off of the ground because Asahi wasn’t able to stand on his own. He had actually cracked at this point. Asahi had realized that he had actually killed someone. He came to the realization that he had just about nothing left in this world and there was no way to gain what he wanted._

_The police took him into custody after that and Asahi had pleaded guilty, told his story, and the rest was just history…_

“Hey, Asahi. Are you okay? You stopped walking and your eyes are watering. Do you need to sit or something?” Asahi opened his eyes and blinked away the tears that were gathering there. He then wiped at his face and cleared his throat, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I can sit down again when we get to the cafeteria.” Asahi’s voice was rough and he really didn’t have much volume to his voice. He took a step and he realized then that he was shaky. He realized that thinking about Noya and everything that happened that night would forever cause him pain. Honestly, he didn’t think that he could ever be happy again. He knew he promised Noya that he would try to be okay, but if Noya were in his shoes, maybe he could understand a little better.

Asahi had been in prison for about two months now. He was always on his best behavior and he didn’t participate in any sort of prison trades or their forms of currency. He only spoke to someone when he absolutely had to and he kept to himself for the most part, unless he was required to share something with the guards or his lawyers.

His lawyer was hoping to get him out of prison in a few years due to his good behavior, but he had to wait those few years. He was in no hurry and he kind of hoped someone would attack him and kill him in prison, but he hadn’t been lucky so far. All he could hope for now was someway to be happy. All he could do was find a way to keep Noya’s promise and find a way to hopefully be okay again.

The only way Asahi could see was death, but every so often, he heard Noya telling him that death wasn’t the answer in his mind. He really didn’t want to let Noya down again. He really didn’t want to disappoint him again. Whenever he was feeling really shitty about the situation, Noya would pop into his mind and remind him that things would work out in the end for the better. Noya was there to remind him that he could keep on going, no matter what. He had to keep going on for Noya. Asahi had to live and prove to Noya that he could, in fact, be okay and keep living.

**Author's Note:**

> Me killing a character in a gay relationship does not reflect how I feel about the character or how I feel about gay relationships. I mean, I keep writing about homosexual relationships, so I really can't judge them. I am also not straight myself. I just thought I would add this disclaimer here at the end. I hope you enjoyed the one shot!


End file.
